Friday, January 19, 2007
The grocery store
I loathe shopping for groceries. All the choices are overwhelming and throw me into a semi-panic attack. Do we REALLY need 10 different brands of toilet paper bundled according to roll size, number of rolls, with or without ripples, some have aloe....for the love of God people....it's ASS wipe!!!! I highly doubt my posterior knows or cares if the toilet paper has ripples!!! It's not a bag of potato chips for cryin' out loud!!! No matter what time of day I shop, it always seems to be the day the social security checks arrived. 90% of the customers today were 80 and over. Shuffling along the aisles, stopping whenever and wherever without regard to who might be behind them or trying to get around them. They have a permanent look of bewilderment and I can't blame them, really. Most of them probably grew up using the Sears catalog in the outhouse. Now, they have to decide what's better......aloe or ripples???? I actually kind of, I said KIND OF, feel sorry for them because they seem to use the grocery store as their social outing. As I was throwing in can after can of Friskies Prime Select Chicken in Gravy cat food into my cart, a woman with blue hair and Sally Jessy Raphael glasses had the audacity to reach into my cart to scrutinize the cans of cat food. She picked up a can and in her nasally, whiny voice said " Your cat must like this kind." Gee, Einstein, ya think? She then tried to engage me in a conversation about cat food!!! She asked me some off the wall question to which I screwed up my face and said "What?" I took that as my cue to get the hell out of that aisle. For the next 20 minutes I dodged, darted and slithered through the store trying to avoid "Cat Food Lady." I finally made my way to the checkout line only to get behind some dumbass who kept sending the clerk back for different cigarettes. I'm too tired to even start in on that whole scene. I'll save it for a rainy day.