Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Living Large While in College

My girlfriend, whose son allegedly attends a state University, is constantly handing money to her unemployed student. This kid drives a new car, takes fantastic Spring Breaks, and parties hardy all on Mom and Dad's dime. She sighs as she reaches yet again into her pocketbook to fund his latest escapade. She admits she doesn't really know why she does this, and by the way, the majority of monetary transferring is done behind her spouse's back in order to avoid the " You're coddling and spoiling that kid" speech. I've just finished reading an email from her which detailed yet other bank transfer. My reply to her is as follows:

I'm convinced that somewhere, there is a class, probably in the back of a bar, called "How To Milk Your Parents Dry 101" This is taught, no doubt, by some scraggly 28 year old "professional student" who after 8 years at the University, is no closer to his degree than the first day of his freshman year. However, this dude has perfected the art of living high on the hog ( no pun intended to all you Iowans out there) while remaining unemployed. He owns not one, but two snowboards, a motorcycle, mini-bike, car, expensive rollerblades and bicycles as well as a closet full of designer clothes that would impress even the likes of Calvin, Ralph and Tommy. His fridge is always stocked with the best imported beer and wine. No Schlitz or Annie Green Springs for him!!! By now you're probably asking " How can this be?" It's easy. Mom and Dad are just so %$#%^ing glad he's not living at home, that they have suffered the equivalent of a frontal lobotomy, thus making their hands go from wallet to junior in 6 seconds flat.

I must admit I've engaged in the bank transfer "dance" more than once. And yes, without benefit of my husband's knowledge. It's just better that way :) However, my kid does work and my transfers consist of 10 bucks here, 10 bucks there, to tide him over til payday. Nothing compared to the HUNDREDS, and no I'm not exaggerating, of dollars my friend gives to her son. Oh well....not my problem. But it was a good excuse for a blog!! Peace :)


Coaster Punchman said...

My parents once lent me their credit card when I spent a month in California during college. It was for emergency use only.

Well one day my friends and I had an emergency: we needed to buy clothing at The Gap. I tried to be good, but the temptation grew too strong until finally out came the card! I figured I had a few weeks to figure out how to pay or at least something good to tell them.

When I got back to my dorm room there was an "urgent" message to call my mom.

"Thomas, I got a call from The Gap in Santa Monica. You seem to have left my credit card there. Would you care to explain this?"

It wasn't pretty trying to convince her that that blue & white striped oxford was an emergency. But I gave it my best shot.

Jake's Mom said...

I like your point of view. And the story was entertaining too...but do you think you could get your friend to adopt me?? :):):):):)

Nurse Ratchet said...

Thomas, you had your parent's credit card and all you bought was a shirt???? You were a good kid :)If I gave my credit card to Drew....I'd be bankrupt!!

Nurse Ratchet said...


I've tried to get her to adopt me too...no luck. Oh well. I told her I'm gonna start charging her every time I listen to her tales of woe.

Coaster Punchman said...

Well, I was still young and relatively afraid of their wrath. I've been gifted with a certain amount of common sense, unlike certain brothers of mine who used to pull shit that you wouldn't even believe if I told you!